How does money affect a relationship? WOW! That is a loaded question. Think of every type and kind of relationship(s) we have. We have a relationship with our mate, our employer, or employee if in business, our partner(s), our clients, our customers, anyone we do business with for that matter. The stakes can be even higher, if we are in business or work with our mate, or how about working in business with our children or any one family member, or with a friend. Truly though, the biggest relationship we have when it comes to money (or anything for that matter), is the relationship between money and our very own self.
That is at the very core of all of the other relationships, be it money or otherwise. We are talking here about money though, so lets us stay with that. The other stuff we’ll keep for another day – it’s huge.
Our very own attitude towards money, whether we are thrifty, a spender, a saver, or what we consider middle ground, will no doubt be brought into all the different relationships we have. By the way, regardless of the category we fall into, and I’m sure there are many more than the few I named above, we always think we have it down right and it’s the ‘other’ one who doesn’t have it figured out.
So the problem(s) arises when our own attitude towards money conflicts with the person we are in a relationship with.
When it comes to business, before choosing a business partner, money is an easy thing to avoid bunking heads about. Before even entering into the arrangement, you both simply discuss your thoughts and ways of how you each deal with money. You lay it right out on the table with each other. This makes for an open honest discussion. It lays the groundwork, a good foundation on which to build, or not, if you decide you are in different ballparks. I assure you, doing this in advance, will save you a lot of headaches and heartaches down the road.
The relationship (in terms of money) with our significant other, is to say the least, very, very different. Business types of relationships are almost entirely based upon money, while the one with our significant other are about anything but money. Ah, we are in Love. We don’t however, just meet someone and jump into marriage. It takes time and during the passage of that time, is when we are learning about each other. Although it may not seem as important as so many of the other matters in our relationship, the truth is, it’s HUGE! One of the biggest matters (there are stats on this) of the all the matters that couples argue about, is money. (Google: The Top Ten Marriage Fights / Family Minute). In this ‘getting to know each other period’, if you find there is a wide disparity between the two of you on your views of money, then the discussion must take place. If you don’t do it in this period and put it off, it’s only going to come back to bite you both very hard. Marriages can be stressful enough, living with each other and working through individual habits and needs. Money is the very last thing you need to be bunking heads about. You can imagine how big this issue can get when little ones start to enter your lives and money starts to tighten up a bit.
This is a very big and important topic, so let’s go deeper into this next week.
BTW: A good piece of advice my dad gave me:
“Spend a dollar less than you earn and you’ll always be rich, but if you always spend a dollar more than your earn, no matter how much you earn, you will always be poor.”
Harris Glasser – Author, Lecturer, Business & Personal Consultant
www.HarrisHelps.org “ It’s My Money & I Want It!”
(more next week)